Portrait 6: From This Day Forward
by lwbush
Summary: Last story in the series. A joke becomes reality, and Xena has an axe to grind about it.


  
~**~  
  
Portrait #7  
  
From This Day Forward...

Disclaimer: Except for Stavros, these characters aren't mine. Although I like the way I make them behave so much more than the way TPTB do, so if they want to give them to me…. In reality, Joxer and Gabrielle and just

about everyone else in this story belong to Renaissance Pictures and USA/Universal Studios, and no money will be made here.

Rating: PG

Sex: None

Violence: Threatened, and more mental than physical, at that.

This story is the last in a series that assumes that "it" happened. The first story is "I'd Be Better Off…" and the second is "Stuck In The Middle". The third was "A Matter of Trust". Then came "A Delicate Balance", "Fixin' " and "A Matched Set". Now that Gabby and Joxer are together, what are the issues and incidents they have to deal with?

I swore with the first story that this series would end with the wedding story, and here it is. It's been

a lot of fun. I started the whole series with angst, and end with farce. Fitting?

As always, my eternal gratitude to Chris Shultz, my awesome beta reader, friend and encourager. He's kept this series on track, and bugged me constantly for this particular story, which I put off forever. I think the writing of this whole thing has spanned almost the past year. It's been quite a ride.

~**~  
  
Really, it had only been a joke! And not even her own joke. So how'd it get so out  
of control?  
  
Xena glared at the preening man standing at the altar across from her. She knew it was a mistake to let Autolycus spend so much time on the road with them. He caught her look, and he smiled confidently. She could see the thought as if were written in clear Greek across his forehead. *Damn, I look good.* And the truth was, he did. She sighed, relaxing slightly.  
  


Still, this was entirely his fault. It had been funny when he'd first said it. The moment he turned her whole world upside down with his smart mouth would be forever etched on her brain. At the time, she'd just laughed.  
  
Gabrielle and Joxer had been bickering again. She wasn't sure why they  
didn't just skip the arguing and go right to the kissing and making up - it  
seemed to be the only reason they disagreed so much. Well, that and the fact that they were both as stubborn as mules.  
  
"I'm saying, if you do it *your* way, you might as well just throw two  
scrolls away for every one you use, and save time."  
  
"But, Joxer, if you do it your way, no one can read what you write!" Joxer  
had been penning a letter to his brother Jett in Marimas Prison, and every  
once in a while, he'd go back, reread, and scratch out things, changing  
them. The entire letter was a patchwork of crosshatches and arrows, and even  
Xena, who was no master of penmanship, had to admit it was a bit sloppy. But  
she wasn't sure that Gabrielle's method, to outline the whole thing on  
paper, then to write it, and****then to write a final copy, was terribly efficient,  
either.  
  
A low guffaw from the fire drew all their eyes. "You two should just get  
married," Autolycus joked. "You already have the whole dynamic down." Xena  
had laughed along with the thief, while Gabrielle rolled her eyes, and Joxer  
pouted. Xena had finally suggested that Joxer get the letter worded the way  
he liked, then just rewrite *that* on a new scroll. Both the partners deemed  
the compromise acceptable, and they had proceeded to the kissing and making  
up.  
  
Xena sighed, sitting down beside the King of Thieves. He put his arm around  
her shoulders, and she rested her head on him. Moving closer, he caught her  
eye hopefully, and she frowned. "Don't let them give you ideas, pal," she  
snarled**;** but she didn't move, either.  
  
He snickered. "I have plenty of ideas of my own. Who needs their help?" But  
he didn't go any further himself. Ever since the party at Iphicles, the  
thief had spent an inordinate amount of time on the road with the three  
friends, and while he and Xena had certainly shared body heat a few cold  
nights, they weren't willing to take the relationship into more serious  
waters just yet.  
  
The whole thing had been forgotten that night, and for several days  
afterwards. Then the bard and the wannabe had returned from a shared bath,  
arguing about which one had let the new cake of soap get away, and Xena had  
snorted. "You two really *do* sound like an old married couple. Geez!" Okay,  
so she had fired round two. It was still Autolycus' fault.  
  
She knew trouble was in store though, several days later, when she overheard  
Joxer say, during a quiet conversation on the road, "Maybe they're right,  
Gabby. Maybe we *should* just get married. I can't think of any reason not  
to." Xena let it slide, thinking that it too would pass. She should have  
known better. Stubborn as mules - both of them.  
  
Before long it was coming up almost daily - one or the other of the pair  
would say, musingly, "Maybe we should just get married." Then there was a  
ring, and plans, and - she looked down at herself - this stupid dress. The bridesmaid looked at Auto - at least he got to wear a decent pair of dark blue trousers he could use again. She sighed. If Gabrielle weren't her best friend, the  
Warrior Princess would have never been caught dead dressed like this. And  
carrying flowers! She was going to burn the dress later, with great ceremony. It was her prerogative- she'd paid for it herself just for that reason, after she'd seen Gabrielle's choice.

She smiled wickedly, and looked back over her shoulder at the group in the  
temple. She'd gotten even. The couple had both decided it should be a small  
ceremony - just family, at one of Aphrodite's temples near Poteidaia. Gabrielle had been married before, and Joxer was nervous about the whole ceremony, so they wanted it simple. HA! Simple! Xena had assured them she would take care of letting their families know, and then promptly expanded the definition of family to include anyone the couple had ever so much as spoken to. The priests had run out of chairs, and people were standing in the back of the temple now. This would fix them both.

She swallowed the momentary pang of horror that surfaced when she realized  
how many people would see her in this travesty of a dress. But then Hercules  
caught her eye and winked, and she cheered up. Her grin encompassed Iolaus,  
sitting beside the big man. The warrior bridesmaid let her gaze rove the crowd. There were Gabrielle's parents, and that must be Stavros sitting with them. Lila was in the back room, helping her sister dress.

Across the isle, a tiny woman sat between two men who both looked enormously  
like the groom. She was fussing with something on the vest of the one wearing black leather, while he made a face and tried to squirm away. It appeared that even the King of Assassins was no match for a determined mother. On the other side, the one who must have been Joxer's brother Jace was trying to hold back his laughter with a frilly lace handkerchief. She hadn't seen that many colors in one single outfit in her lifetime, Xena thought. It was clear that while the triplets must have gotten their build from their father, their coloring was identical to their mother's. She had the rich chestnut hair and deep brown eyes of the oldest and youngest of the three, while the middle one's hair color *couldn't* be natural. At least, Xena, who spent most of her life outdoors, had never seen that particular  
shade of red in nature. Joxer's father had not earned the reprieve for good behavior that Jett had received, and was unable to leave Marimas for the ceremony.

The Warrior Princess looked further, and saw Meg, her dress in competition  
with Jace's clothes for the gaudiest thing there. Her girls surrounded her,  
and they all looked a little teary eyed at the prospect of losing Joxer for  
good. Xena also****picked out Minya and Hower, the cheerful woman heavily pregnant.

  
Her eyes caught Salmoneous, obviously deeply involved in selling one of his  
ideas to - well! It appeared that Iphicles made it after all! There were Jason and Alcmene, a good part of the Amazon nation, and she even saw her own mother. Meg's waving drew her attention, and following the girl's glance, she saw Princess Diana and her husband coming in, together with the Hestian priestess, Leah. They acknowledged Meg, but judiciously declined her motioned invitation and sat elsewhere.  
  
Finally Lila scurried in to sit beside Stavros, and Xena knew the ceremony  
was about to begin.  
  
Turning to face the front of the temple, she grinned widely as the goddess of love  
suddenly materialized. Several members of the assembled crowd gasped. That had been another coup - convincing Aphrodite herself to perform the ceremony.  
She was pretty sure her friends would be expecting the nice young priest they'd talked to before. Looking over the Dite's shoulder, she saw Ares sneering at her, Discord on his arm. Almost affectionately, she sneered back, and he laughed. Xena wondered what his sister had held over his head to get him to come. Cupid materialized on the other side behind his mother just as the bride and groom entered.  
  
The Warrior Princess couldn't swallow the triumphant grin on her face. Sure,  
Joxer was always pale, but she'd never seen Gabrielle quite that colorless.  
Discreetly, she stepped on the bride's toe, which brought her back into focus. It wouldn't be nearly as funny if her friend passed out at her own wedding. Doing a fairly good impression of "The Look", the bard glared at her attendant, then turned to face the goddess of love. Apparently, the shock of seeing Aphrodite there as well was taken in stride, her system only capable of handling so much, and already on overload about getting married in the first place.

  
Joxer grinned cheekily at the barely dressed goddess, who mouthed****silently, "Hiya, Studmuffin**.**" One of Meg's girls caught it and giggled giddily. 'Dite frowned, and the girl shut up. Xena had known this would be a good choice - the goddess had always seemed to like the groom more than most mortals. The love goddess clapped her hands, as if trying to silence the already speechless crowd. "Okay, gods and mortals and all, let's get this thing going." She glared at the bard, looking about as threatening as a constipated kitten. "Not like it isn't about damn *time*." Gabrielle shrugged. "Okay, I guess I'll do this by the book, since *I* wrote it." She launched into a fairly long and ritualistic ceremony, which, Xena was fairly sure, only the bride and groom were paying any attention to at all. Distracted by counting the feathers on Cupid's left wing, the bridesmaid almost missed the triumphant announcement, "and now, you may kiss the bride!" This was her part! Scrambling to look as if she had been on top of it, the Warrior Princess all but tore the bouquet from the bride's hands, earning another of those "looks". Gabrielle was getting better at that, she thought idly. A few minutes later, she wondered if she should just send everyone home, rather than waiting for those two to finish. Finally, flushed and gasping, but grinning like a couple of fools, they came up for air. Before they could get back to it, Aphrodite crowed, "I now pronounce you man and wife!" Another one of Meg's girls burst loudly into tears. Joxer just stood there, looking proud and goofy, until Gabrielle all but dragged him down the aisle to the vestibule in the front of the temple. Xena and Auto hooked arms and followed them.  
  
She could hear the rest of the crowd shuffling, preparing to join the happy couple in the entry area. Gabrielle threw her arms around her best friend, and with her head close to Xena's ear, whispered, "I am SO going to get you for this." Xena pulled away, still holding her arms. 

  
"How?"  
  
The bard tilted her head towards her groom, who was busy accepting Autolycus' congratulations. "He's already written three new verses of his song, in honor of our wedding and honeymoon. He has two weeks while we're gone to work on more. Just wait - one night you and Auto will be sharing a little 'quality time', and I'll sic him on ya." 

  
The horror on Xena's face was beyond description. "You *wouldn't*!"  
  
Gabrielle pulled away, smiling evilly and humming "Joxer the Mighty" under her breath. Xena plastered on a smile for the first of the well-wishers, and tried to figure out how she could make up for everything, and quickly. 


End file.
